That’s what happened to the person called Saul who later on became Paul and founded this ugly phenomenon, the Christian church. Jesus is not the founder of the Christian church, the founder of the Christian church is Saint Paul. And the story is worth remembering.

When he was born, his name was Saul. And he was so anti-Christ that his whole life was devoted to destroying Christians and Christianity. His whole dedication was to persecute Christians, destroying any possibility of Christianity for the future, and effacing the name of Christ. He must have hated tremendously, his hate cannot be ordinary. When you devote your whole life to the object of your hatred, it is bound to be really total. Otherwise who cares? If you hate something you don’t devote your whole life to it. But if you hate totally, then it becomes a life-and-death problem.

Persecuting Christians, destroying Christians, destroying their power-holds, arguing with Christians, convincing them that this was nonsense, that this man Jesus was mad, a neurotic, a pretender, a hypocrite, one day it happened, the miracle happened. He was going to persecute more Christians in another town. On the way he was alone, and suddenly he saw Jesus appearing out of nowhere and asking him, “Why do you persecute me?”

Out of shock, terror, he fell on the ground, apologizing, crying great tears of repentance. The vision disappeared, and with the disappearance of the vision the old Saul disappeared. To remember this point he changed his name to Paul; the old man was dead, a new man had arrived. And he became the founder of the Christian church. He became a great lover of Jesus — the greatest lover the world has ever known.

Hate can become love. Jesus did not appear; it was just the intensity of his hate that projected Jesus. It was not Jesus who asked him, “Why do you persecute me?” It was his own unconscious which was suffering so much because of this hatred for Jesus. It was his own unconscious that asked him, “Why do you persecute me?” It was his own unconscious that became personified in the vision of Jesus. The miracle happened because the hate was total.

Whenever anything is total it turns into its opposite. This is a great secret to be remembered. Whenever something is total it changes into its opposite, because there is no way to go any further; the cul-de-sac has arrived.

Watch an old clock with a pendulum. It goes on and on: the pendulum goes to the left, to the extreme left, and then there is a point beyond which it cannot go, then it starts moving towards the right.

Opposites are complementaries. If you can suffer your suffering in totality, in great intensity, you will be surprised: Saul becomes Paul. You will not be able to believe it when it happens for the first time, that your own suffering absorbed willingly, welcomingly, becomes a great blessing. The same energy that becomes hate becomes love, the same energy that becomes pain becomes pleasure, the same energy that becomes suffering becomes bliss.

Osho – “The Book of Wisdom”

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He had to go up to the room again and by the time he reached the fourteenth floor the room had already been given to somebody else — a newlywed couple.

Although he was in a hurry and he might miss the train if he lingered there a little longer, the temptation was great. So he looked through the keyhole to see what was happening.

A newlywed couple — they were also in a hurry, they had already waited too long; the marriage ceremony and the church and the guests and all that — somehow they had got rid of all of them and they were lying naked on the

bed, talking sweet nothings. And the young man was saying to the woman, “You have such beautiful eyes. I have never seen such beautiful eyes! To whom do these eyes belong?”
And the woman said, “To you! To you, and only to you!”

And so on, the list went on. “These beautiful hands, these beautiful breasts,” and this and that — this went on and on. And Mulla had completely forgotten about the train and the taxi waiting downstairs. But then suddenly he remembered his umbrella. When the list was about to be completed, he said, “Wait! When you come to the yellow umbrella, that belongs to me.”

People are unconsciously doing many things. If they become conscious these things will drop.

Osho – “The Book of Wisdom”

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Years went by, he was tired, exhausted. Then someone told him, “If you really want to find a master you will have to go to the Himalayas. He lives in some unknown parts of the Himalayas; you will have to search for him. One thing is certain, he is there. Nobody knows exactly where, because whenever somebody comes to know of him he moves from that place and goes even deeper into the Himalayan ranges.”

The man was getting old, but he gathered courage. For two years he had to work to earn money for the journey, then he made the journey. It is an old story. He had to ride on camels and horses and then go on foot, and then he reached the Himalayas. People said, “Yes, we have heard about the old man, very ancient he is, one cannot say how old — maybe three hundred years old, or even five hundred years old; nobody knows. He lives somewhere, but the location cannot be given to you. Nobody is aware of where exactly you will find him, but he is there. If you search hard you are bound to find him.”

The man searched and searched and searched. For two years he was roaming in the Himalayas — tired, exhausted, dead exhausted, living only on wild fruits, leaves and grass. He had lost much weight. But he was intent that he had to find this man; even if it took his life, it would be worth it.

And can you imagine? One day he saw a small hut, a grass hut. He was so tired that he was not even able to walk, so he crawled. He reached the hut. There was no door; he looked in, there was nobody inside. And not only was there nobody inside, but there was every sign that for years there had been nobody inside.

You can think what would have happened to that man. He fell on the ground. Out of sheer tiredness he said, “I give up.” He was lying there under the sun in the cool breeze of the Himalayas, and for the first time he started feeling so blissful, he had never tasted such bliss! Suddenly he started feeling full of light. Suddenly all thoughts disappeared, suddenly he was transported — and for no reason at all, because he had not done anything.

And then he became aware that somebody was leaning over him. He opened his eyes. A very ancient man was there.

And the old man, smiling, said, “So you have come. Have you something to ask me?”

And the man said, “No.”

And the old man laughed, a great belly laugh which was echoed by the valleys. And he said, “So now you know what meditation is?”

And the man said, “Yes.”

What had happened? That assertion which came from his deepest core of being — “I give up” — in that very giving up, all goal-oriented mind efforts and endeavors disappeared. “I give up.” In that very moment he was no more the same person. And bliss showered on him. He was silent, he was a nobody, and he touched the ultimate stratum of non-being. Then he knew what meditation is.

Meditation is a non-goal-oriented state of mind.

Osho – “The Book of Wisdom”

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The sound of his falling and his crying…. An old woman who lived in a hut by the side came out, helped him to get out of the well.

He was very happy. He said, “You have saved my life! Do you know who I am? I am the royal astrologer. My fee is very great — even kings have to wait for months to consult me — but for you I will predict your future. You come tomorrow morning to my house, and I will not take any fee.”

The old woman laughed and she said, “Forget all about it! You cannot see even two feet ahead — how can you see my future?”

This is the situation of millions of people on this earth. They cannot see that which is, they are obsessed with that which should be. The greatest obsession that humanity suffers is of “that which should be.” It is a kind of madness.

Osho – “The Book of Wisdom”

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