Empower your Relationships With The Enneagram

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About Your Teachers – Suzanne Dion and Sean Palmer

About Suzanne Dion

Suzanne Dion co-wrote the book, The Enneagram, Relationships, and Intimacy: Understanding One Another Leads to Loving Better and Living More Fully, with her mentor, David Daniels, MD. In its pages, they marry the wisdom of the Enneagram with Dr. Dan Siegel's mindful awareness research and teachings.

Suzanne’s focus, as she carries forward David’s compassionate approach, is on bettering our human relationships through intrapersonal healing and developing our capacity for emotional literacy and deepening intimacy — with both ourselves and others.

Now a teacher, coach, and educator of the Enneagram system for personal and professional self-awareness, Suzanne completed her teacher certification with The Narrative Enneagram (TNE) program (formerly called the Palmer-Daniels Enneagram Professional Training School) in 2008. Suzanne was one of the founding board members of the Enneagram Prison Project and spent several years developing its curriculum and teaching incarcerated men and women in Northern California jails and San Quentin State Prison.

Testimonials for Suzanne Dion

“Suzanne Dion is an amazing presenter and writer. I have had the pleasure of co-teaching/leading with her throughout the years and the collaboration was amazing. Suzanne has a deep grasp of the Enneagram and is able to language it in a way that all feel included. She comes forward with compassion and clarity regarding people and the system. Participants feel “held, heard, and understood.” I highly recommend allowing Suzanne to lead you on the journey of self-discovery because she has done the work herself.” — Deborah Ooten

“Suzanne has received outstanding recognition from Enneagram, trauma-recovery-informed, and relationships teachers in the field. Suzanne is a truly gifted individual as well as a couples' coach, and I can’t say enough about her natural charisma and ability to present and communicate with individuals all the way to large groups. Suzanne has a way of breaking things down succinctly, sometimes humorously, as well as compassionately and in a way that brings it home for people, including having brought highly complex teachings to those incarcerated with great success.” — Denise Daniels , PhD, developmentalist and Enneagram author

“Suzanne's 15-plus years of working with the Enneagram and now relationships, together with many other leading experts, have made her a true source of wisdom on this complicated topic. She has both a theoretical understanding and practical experience, which make her a fascinating teacher. Her insights have helped me tremendously in my research. If you really want to understand how you create challenges to your own relationships and want to do something about it, then Suzanne's compassionate approach and in-depth knowledge will guide you on the right path!” — Frederik Coene, PhD, Enneagram researcher

A Message From Suzanne Dion

It’s Our Relationship to Ourselves That Makes or Breaks Our Relationships With Others — the Enneagram Can Make a Difference

We are living in a very interesting, very fascinating time. Gender is up for discussion even obliteration, divorce is somewhat expected, nurture-dependent infants are left in daycare as early as six-weeks old — the potential for developmental neglect nationally normalized, technology has far surpassed our wildest dreams and so many of us struggle to find a partner who can meet our needs, who can “make us happy.” The level of disenchantment across our world is incredibly high as well as the level of progress, advancement, and fascination too.

Today, couples are struggling to stay together let alone stay in love. Making a living in the midst of a recent pandemic — keeping our families and our savings from dissolving — has just about maxed out the very best of us.

As we seek to make sense of it all, how we get along with others seems to come up over and over again as we look for happiness. Our relationships are what seem, each time, to be at the center of the joy we often experience. There’s no doubt relationships affect how connected we feel to ourselves as well as to what creates meaning in our lives. And, there’s no doubt they seem to be the number-one cause of the greatest suffering in our lives as well, over and over again. At the center of much unhappiness, conflict, and despair even, our inability to relate to one another lovingly, our inability to communicate with one another honestly or effectively, and our inability to manage our emotional upheaval and reactivity are at the very heart of so many of our lifelong struggles.

Is our strive-and-surpass, me-first, go-getter driven American society actually in line with our fundamental human structure and most basic of emotional needs? It’s a good question. Because, we actually really need each other. We weren’t designed to be alone, swimming isolated in riches. It’s that simple. We need each other and we need relationships, all kinds of relationships. We do not fully develop, embody, or expand our ‘sense of self’, without them. Research tells us that we are social creatures with a social brain. This means we are co-regulatory and interpersonally connected, stunningly interdependent, and wired to belong in order to not only survive but hopefully thrive — and to experience ourselves innocently and authentically, and develop fully.

A social brain is a “relationships brain.”   And it begins the very moment we are born. Our first attachments are our first love stories. To understand our lives we need to understand our relationships — their importance, their quality, and the critical role they play in shaping our minds and hearts, our narratives and our becoming.

There is nothing more important to human life than two very simple things:

1. Our relationship with ourselves
2. Our relationships with others

Our relationship to ourselves is where we begin. As paradoxically, it's our relationship to ourselves that determines the kind of relationships we will allow, engender, and cultivate with others. Understanding ourselves is what leads to understanding others. Intimacy with ourselves first determines our capacity for true and lasting intimacy with any and all others — psychologically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

How do we actually develop a relationship with ourselves? This might seem to some a very silly question because, isn’t it already a given? “I talk to myself all the time!” someone once shared. So, let’s reword the question. How do we develop a quality, intimate relationship with ourselves? Quality and intimate meaning the kind of relationship that yields an authentic, felt-experience of our cognitive-emotional inner world, of the truth of our innermost being-ness, and our acceptance of it.

The answer I’d like to offer up: We study “the Enneagram.” The Enneagram is a body of wisdom that helps us recognize and then learn about ourselves, from the inside out. The Enneagram gives us permission to learn about ourselves in a way that is de-shaming and profoundly empowering. “Oh, that’s why I express anger that way!” “OH WOW, that’s why I believe I have to be so strong, so prepared, so easy-going, so perfect, so special, so smart, so fun, so…, so…, so… to be loved.” The Enneagram is a system that takes us to the core of understanding our personality’s (temperamental) structure — its patterns, core beliefs, and propensities. Understanding “how we’re wired” to either ensure that we are loved and connected or that we’re safe and protected, we can truly and more intimately come to know ourselves — and then grow! And as we come to know and understand ourselves, another great benefit becomes attainable: Self-mastery. We can begin to free ourselves from the on-automatic, habitual cognitive-emotional perceptions and behaviors that may be interfering with how good or bad we feel about ourselves and our lives, how well we can possibly get along with others, and how fully we actually love (and allow ourselves to be loved). What we’ll tend to find is that these on-automatic patterns — particularly our unmanaged emotional reactivity and defendedness, are at the center of much of our relational upheaval, fear, grief, and dissatisfaction.

So, this is where we begin, and we must begin with ourselves. A commitment to knowing ourselves from the inside out is a noble, so-worthwhile, life-enhancing, “my development is my gift to me!” pursuit. We can begin by studying the Enneagram, as its wisdom is so kind, so de-shaming, so talents and gifts illuminating, and so vastly incisive.

The foundation of this pursuit is self-awareness. The method at all times is curiosity. The mantra at each stage is self- and other-acceptance. And the outcome is a truly intimate, quality relationship with ourselves and truly intimate, quality relationships with each and every special other in our lives.

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About Sean Palmer

Sean Palmer is the Principal at Sean Palmer Coaching Company, LLC. He is an Enneagram expert, trainer, and author of Speaking by the Numbers: Enneagram Wisdom for Teachers, Pastors, and Communicators… Forty Days on Being a Three (Enneagram Daily Reflections)… and Unarmed Empire: In Search of Beloved Community.

Sean has been profiled in The Washington Post and was named in Christian Standard magazine's “40 Leaders Under 40.” With 24 years of communications experience, Sean is a sought-after national keynote speaker, teacher, writer, and workshop facilitator. He works with nonprofits, business leaders, city managers, mayors, and chiefs of police and fire departments.

Sean’s work has been featured on Fox News and in Enneagram Today, Enneagram Magazine, Christianity Today, Success magazine, Sojourners magazine, and The Lookout magazine. Sean is vice-chair of and a featured writer for Missio Alliance, a contributing writer to The Voice, and a frequent guest on various podcasts and programs, including National Public Radio (NPR).

Testimonials for Sean Palmer

“Seldom do we get to experience a teacher who doesn’t suffer fools, who immediately grasps what’s most important, and yet genuinely cares about us. Sean Palmer exudes that rare combination of wisdom and warmth. He not only understands people, but wants them to flourish in ways that matter.” — Jeff Cook

“Sean’s robust experience in public speaking and storytelling, combined with his mastery of Enneagram wisdom, gives people helpful tools to live more effectively.” — Hunter Mobley

“Sean’s years of experience with the Enneagram have created a foundation of understanding that he has been able to bring to many other areas in his life. As a type 3, he wants to appear excellent as an Enneagram teacher, and clearly has done the work to achieve that goal. What’s more, with his focus firmly set on the future, he has an eye on where the Enneagram is going — and is on the forefront of bringing the system into new areas of study and application.” — T.J. Wilson

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